Men have taken on a specific role in human development over the span of hundreds of thousands of years. While roles have very recently shifted somewhat, historically speaking, men have been the ones to fight the wars and build society. And if you think about it, it’s pretty hard to feel emotions, let alone process them, while on bloody battlefields and balancing atop giant skyscrapers.

You could say at this point in time, men have become hardwired to compartmentalize their feelings. They have them, just as much as women have feelings, they simply select to store them away and get to them later. For this reason, most men buck at the idea of going to therapy to communicate their feelings.

The reality is, it is for the very reasons I just stated that men can greatly benefit from therapy. Here are 3 reasons why men should at least give therapy a try:

Recover Your Sense of Identity

For many generations, there was a strong definition of, and acceptance of, masculinity. Today, we are given a mix of messages from the media about what it means to be a man and how destructive “toxic” masculinity is. Add to this the fact many men grew up in homes where the father was either fully absent or emotionally absent, and many men struggle with their own sense of identity. Therapy offers men a space to create a healthy definition of what it means to be a man.

Improve Your Relationships

Because men have a hard time communicating their feelings, their female partners can often feel abandoned and confused. This can cause real problems in the relationship.

Therapy allows men to become a healthier version of themselves, one that can connect better with their partner.

Deal with Grief and Pain

Grief, loss, trauma… these are sadly a part of life. Most people, especially men, have a very hard time navigating these mental health challenges. Therapy helps men explore their own emotional pain so they can heal and move on.

These are just a few reasons why men should seriously consider trying therapy. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.

SOURCES:

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/201701/why-i-think-all-men-need-therapy
• https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/men-issues/men-therapy
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fear-intimacy/201909/men-and-psychotherapy

Relationships can enrich our lives, but they can also cause damage. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or significant other, any relationship comes with its share of challenges. And more often than not, putting in the effort to resolve relational issues can and does result in a healthier bond.

But there are those relationships that, no matter the amount of work and goodwill put into them, will never bring a return on your time or heart investment. These relationships are toxic, and they need to be ended in order for you to heal and move on.

3 Signs the Relationship Needs to End

There are More Negative Interactions Than Positive Ones

Every relationship has its good interactions and its not-so-good ones. But there are those relationships that seem like every interaction is tense and filled with negative emotions. When communication becomes difficult or impossible, the relationship is beyond fixing.

Vastly Different Needs

In the beginning of a new friendship or romance, it’s easy to try and compromise with one another, making certain both person’s needs are being met. Over time, some friends or couples realize their needs are too different.

For instance, in a romantic couple, someone may need more sex than the other. Someone may need to always be in control or have a need to lie. These kinds of clashing needs are a red flag for any relationship.

A Blatant Lack of Respect

Respect is essential in relationships. But sometimes there are those individuals that seem incapable of respecting the other person, their needs, their boundaries, their wishes, etc. These people tend to be on the narcissistic spectrum and are incapable of having empathy or respect for others’ needs.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of signs, but these three are some of the most common and problematic signs.

Letting Go and Moving On

Once you know it is time to end the relationship, you may find that your head and heart waffle back and forth, wondering if you are making the right decision. This is why it’s always a good idea to have someone in your corner you can rely on to give you honest feedback, sound advice, and clarity.

Sometimes you can find this champion in your network of friends and family, but other times it might be best to find a totally neutral third party. Someone you never have to wonder whether they are “just saying that” because they love and care about me.

A therapist can help you navigate your intense emotions and make the best decision for your happiness and peace of mind.

If you are currently struggling in a relationship and would like some help navigating it, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

RESOURCES:

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201502/deciding-leave-relationship
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201405/when-its-time-let-relationship-go
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201705/how-end-relationship-without-regrets

Relationships always start out on a high note. Your mutual attraction combined with your commonalities stirs up your feelings, while finding out about your differences and exploring the world together makes your relationship fresh and exciting. When your relationship starts to become more intimate, you may start to wonder when the right time is for you to open up to your partner about your past sexual abuse.

Being a survivor of sexual assault is, unfortunately, not uncommon. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, one in three women and one in six men in the United States experience some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime. So when is the right time to open up to your partner about your past, and how do you tell them?

Be Ready
It’s important as a survivor that you are in control of when you share your story. Center yourself around your own needs and share only when you’re ready, and not before. You may need to discuss it first with a therapist, counselor, friend or support group.

Know What You Need
Know in advance what you’ll need to get through this discussion. You may need your partner to not ask questions, or to not touch you while you’re talking. Be honest and upfront, and ask for support when you need it.

Prepare for a Response
How people respond to your story will vary widely. Hearing sexual abuse disclosures affect both the person telling the story, as well as the person listening. Your partner may be silent for a while as they take the information and consider what to say. Give them time to process it. If it will make you more comfortable, you can ask them to give you some time before you discuss the matter again.

 

Opening up and discussing difficult, sensitive topics with your partner is never easy. But these challenging times are often the ones that create milestones in your relationship, and will ultimately bring the two of you closer than ever.

Are you a sexual assault survivor and in need of guidance and counseling? A licensed therapist can help. Call my office today and let’s set up a time to talk.

When you think of mental health therapists, you probably don’t equate them with a lawyer. But you’d be surprised how much these two professions have in common!

Both therapists and lawyers offer counsel to others in an effort to help them resolve conflicts. While a therapist often helps clients solve their own internal conflicts, sometimes the conflicts that need resolving are those they have with others: friends, children, and spouses.

What is Therapeutic Mediation?

Therapeutic mediation is a process with two intended outcomes:

• Relief from emotional stress
• An agreement or plan of action that is acceptable by two individual parties.

So you could say that therapeutic mediation is a tool used by mental health professionals to bring about emotional healing and an agreed-upon plan of action.

What does it look like in action?

Let’s say you have a husband and wife who find themselves in an entirely toxic relationship. The husband is currently unemployed and the wife works but has little savings. Neither has the funds for a traditional drawn-out divorce. But the wife’s health plan does allow for weekly therapy sessions for her and her spouse or partner.

A therapist would step in and in each session focus on those two goals: therapeutic healing of emotions and conflict resolution. To revisit the emotional distress of both individuals, time would be spent telling their truths and being heard and apologies would be made. Upon a true reconciliation, both parties would feel an emotional weight lifted.

Once this emotional healing has occurred for both individuals, the focus of each session can shift to the conflict resolution process where a plan for forwarding action is developed and accepted by both parties. In this instance, a therapist may work with the husband and wife and facilitate open discussion on important things such as visitation rights and financial obligations.

The Bottom Line

Therapeutic mediation can be very beneficial in a variety of legal and emotional circumstances. For the process to be a success, though, both parties need to be emotionally mature and responsible. They must be willing to acknowledge their own errors and not rely on blaming others. And finally, they must be willing to partake in a process that relies heavily on cooperative problem-solving. If both parties can follow these guidelines, they have an excellent chance of resolving issues in therapy instead of court.

If you’d like to discuss therapeutic mediation further, please call my office. I’d be more than happy to speak to you about how my services may be able to help your specific situation.

 

SOURCES:

• https://www.therapyhelp.com/therapeutic-mediation-an-alternative-to-costly-litigation/
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201209/divorce-education-and-therapeutic-family-mediation-resolve