Have you heard the phrase “helicopter parent?” It describes a mother or father that ‘hovers’ around their child 24/7, overseeing their life to keep them from every potential danger, pitfall and mishap. It looks good on paper, but this kind of parenting forgets one important fact of reality: life happens.

Adversity happens to all of us. Those children who engage with adversity in their formative years learn how to handle it well and come up with strategies and solutions. These are the kids that grow up to be resilient, getting right back up when life knocks them down a few pegs.

 

Here are some ways parents can raise resilient children:

Plant the Right Mindset

How your child sees the world and their own potential in it directly informs how they make decisions. Teach them a positive and empowering mindset from the beginning. Teach them that failure does not exist, only learning what works and what doesn’t. Failing grades and losing games aren’t the end of the world, though they may feel like it. What really matters is the commitment and effort they put into reaching their goal.

Don’t Meet Their Every Need

A child will never be able to develop their own coping strategies if someone is there every second making sure they never become hurt or disappointed. Do your best to NOT overprotect your children and give them some space to figure it out all on their own.

Help Your Children Connect

Social children who are well connected to others feel a sense of support and resilience. Authentic relationships provide a safe space and a person to talk to about their feelings. Help socialize your child as soon as possible so they can form deep connections on their own as they grow.

Let Them Take Some Risks

All parents want to keep their kids safe, but there comes a point when you’ve got to let go a bit and let them learn HOW to be safe on their own. For instance, one day your child will need to get their driver’s license. You can help that older child be a safe driver by allowing their younger self to ride their bicycle around the neighborhood. This will teach them to pay attention, look both ways, etc.

Teach Them the Right Skills

Instead of focusing on the ‘danger’ or uncomfortableness of a situation, teach your child how to navigate it. For instance, if he or she is going away to summer camp for the first time, brainstorm some ideas of how they can learn to be comfortable away from home. Pack their favorite blanket. Talk to them about calling you at certain times to check in. Teach them how to solve their own problems. This is one of the greatest gifts parents can give.

 

Resiliency isn’t something that’s automatically handed down to kids; it’s something that must be instilled and molded over time. Planting these seeds now will set your child up for success in their future.

“Pay attention!”

It’s a phrase that is uttered dozens of times a week (if not more) in households where children between the ages of two and 18 reside. How is it that when they WANT to, oh say when they are playing video games or watching cartoons, kids can have a tremendous attention span. But at any other time, getting them to be present is harder than getting them to close the refrigerator door!

While getting kids to pay attention can seem frustrating, there is an answer to the madness: mindfulness.

Mindful Kids are Happier Kids

Several studies have shown that kids who participate in mindfulness programs are happier. And the sooner you get kids started with mindfulness, the easier it becomes for them to develop a capacity to become calm and centered when life throws them stressful situations.

What does this look like in real life?

Well, picture how a normal 7-year old responds to a situation that is scary, overwhelming, and generally unpleasant. Say they are getting ready to take a hard test or going to the dentist. Most will become so fearful and anxious that they have a hard time being calmed by a parent or other guardian.

The 7-year old who practices mindfulness meditation knows to stop, close their eyes, and breathe deeply to get themselves calm and focused.

The two outcomes are vastly different. That’s because meditation and deep breathing exercises actually change the physiology of the brain, according to scientists. Instead of kids reacting emotionally to a charged situation (being controlled by their emotions), children can control their impulses and reactions to that situation.

OK, but how do you get kids to practice mindfulness when it’s difficult to get them to do pretty much anything, let alone meditate!  Here are some ways you can help your kids become more mindful:

1. Help them discover their inner experience.

Spend time helping kids understand what is happening to their bodies during stressful and calm situations. Ask them to explore their emotions. The more insight they have into their inner experience, the better able they will be to control their responses to external experiences.

2. Breathe with Them

Practice deep breathing with your child. You can do it while driving or before putting them to bed at night. Share with them how to relax, slowly breathe in deeply and exhale. Invite them to feel any tension melt away.

3. Be a Good Example

Your child will not even want to try and be mindful and in control when they see you out of control. Are you one to yell at other drivers? Do you get far too angry when your dog tracks mud in the house? Does a telemarketer at dinner send you through the roof? If so, it’s time to try deep breathing and meditation yourself. Be an example. If your child sees mommy or daddy handling stress in healthier ways, they will be far more likely to give it a go.

While it will take some effort to get your kid to commit to practicing mindfulness, the results that it will bring to their life are completely worth it.

 

SOURCES:

• https://psychcentral.com/blog/mindfulness-for-children/
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creative-development/202001/mindfulness-in-children
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/breathe-mama-breathe/201605/12-simple-ways-teach-mindfulness-kids

Autism is a mental health disorder that affects both children and adults. It causes people to behave in certain ways that are considered “abnormal” and make interaction with others very difficult.

While there is no cure for autism, there are treatments that have been shown to help people, including children, improve their social interactions.

The following are five of the best-known therapies for those on the autism spectrum.

 

Applied Behavior Analysis

Applied behavior analysis (ABA) works very well in helping children and adults. The therapy uses a reward system to encourage positive behaviors.

ABA offers a handful of different treatment options, namely:

• Discrete trial training
• Early intensive behavioral intervention
• Pivotal response training
• Verbal behavior intervention
• Positive behavior support

A trained therapist will be able to assess your loved one to determine which of these types of ABA may be the most suitable.

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of talk therapy that has been effective in treating both kids and adults with autism. Often, certain thought patterns or emotions can trigger negative behavior in someone with autism. CBT helps individuals identify which thoughts and feelings may be the culprit.

 

Social Skills Training

Social skills training (SST) is very helpful in guiding individuals in developing their social skills. Social interaction can be extremely difficult for those on the autism spectrum. But SST can help them learn how to interact with others in a positive and comfortable way.

 

Speech Therapy

Speech therapy is an effective tool for helping people with autism communicate better. Not only will it help children learn how to use words correctly, but it can also help adults improve HOW they communicate their thoughts and feelings.

 

Sensory Integration Therapy

People with autism are often affected by sensory input such as smells, sounds, or light. Sensory integration therapy (SIT) works by controlling an individual’s response to light, sounds, and smells.

If you would like to explore any of these treatment options for your loved one please get in touch with me.

 

SOURCES:

• https://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/therapies-to-help-with-autism
• https://www.healthline.com/health/autism-treatment
• https://www.verywellhealth.com/psychology-as-a-treatment-for-autism-260060